Anxiety: Ways to Challenge Self-Defeating Beliefs

Self-defeating beliefs may create or exacerbate anxiety.

Below is a list of self-defeating beliefs that lead to anxious thoughts and ways to overcome them.

• FILTERING:  Focusing on the negative to the exclusion of the positive.

• SOLUTION: When you’re thinking/feeling bad, try to do the opposite.

• BLACK & WHITE THINKING:  Things are good or bad – it’s all or nothing with no middle ground.

• SOLUTION: Look for the exception to your point of view – yes, but. . .

• OVERGENERALIZATION:  Exaggerating or taking things to the extreme.

• SOLUTION: Avoid words such as: always, never, every, all, none, everybody, and nobody.  Question the extremes. Is there any time that is not true?

• MIND READING:  Making assumptions about an outcome or someone’s motivation.

• SOLUTION: Can you really know what’s going to happen or why something happens? What another person’s intentions are? How can you know for sure? What are other possibilities?

• CATASTROPHIZING:  AKA awfulizing – expecting and projecting the worst.

• SOLUTION: Remember that there is usually more than one possible outcome and the worst catastrophe usually does not happen.

• PERSONALIZATION:  It’s all about me – my fault – I did it wrong – they hate me – I am the only one who can do this.

• SOLUTION: How do you know? Prove it, or consider other possibilities. Let others take ownership.


• CONTROL FALLACIES: Either you have no control or you can control everything.

• SOLUTION: Let go of what you can’t control and be realistic about what you really can control.

• FALLACY OF FAIRNESS: You think everything should be fair. 
• SOLUTION: Life is not fair. Accepting this will help you have more realistic expectations.

• BLAMING: You don’t take responsibility for your choices and project fault onto others.

• SOLUTION: Take responsibility for your choices, including your feelings. Nobody else can make you feel or do anything. How you feel or react is up to you. Blame isn’t necessary/helpful - it is what it is.

• SHOULDS: Words like should, ought, and must foster impossible expectations and often result in disappointment, resentment, and failure.  

• SOLUTION: Flexibility is the key here. Give yourself and others the benefit of the doubt.

• EMOTIONAL REASONING:  A belief that your emotions are based in truth.

• SOLUTION: Challenge emotions with logic. Look for exceptions that are reasonable and possible.

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Cheers, Warren Tattersall


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