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Your April Health Success Free Monthly ezine April 09, 2024 |
| Hi there
I hope you enjoy the e-zine as much as I do writing it. Index: Warren’s Notes :
Hi, Hope you are well and that Easter was a good time for you. We have held the newsletter for an extra week as the normal date we use was right on Easter and when there may be Easter chocolate in the house, and supermarkets have discount clearances on eggs and bunnies, it did not seem like the right time to think about health and nutrition. You may have done better than most people, but it is normal to have a little ‘time out’ sometimes, and Easter for many is one of those times. I notice in the media there currently is a lot of advertising for meal replacement shakes. The pioneer in that area is the Herbal.life company. They pioneered nutrition shakes back in the 1980’s and are still the largest weight loss/nutrition company in the world. I’ve been using their products daily for 30 years now and still start each day with a nutrition shake and additional supplements in
tablet form. For your interest I will add a little article here on the nutrition shake and if you have any questions about it you can contact me via the links in the newsletter below. I wish you well and good health. Warren
If you are thinking about a meal replacement shake as part of your weight loss/health regime then take the time to consider quality. Herbal.life has one of the strongest nutritional boards in the world. If you are interested in the highest quality nutrition then check out the Formula 1 Shake details below: 
Cells are the fundamental unit of the body and make up our tissues, organs and body systems. It is vitally important to take care of your cells, so that they can take care of you. You should nourish them with the vitamins, minerals, antioxidants and other nutrients they need. Herbalife Nutrition’s Cellular Science provides the elements that the body needs on a daily basis to maintain good health. Optimal Health Tip:EXERCISE MAY BE THE BEST APHRODISIAC:Researchers and common sense have long held that exercise enhances health and makes people feel better about themselves and their bodies. This, in turn, makes them more sexually attractive and responsive. Now studies are suggesting that exercise is a potent stimulus to hormone production in both men and women. It may, in fact, chemically increase basic libido by stepping up the levels of such hormones as testosterone. EASIEST WAY TO FLATTEN YOUR STOMACH: Sit or stand upright and suck in your stomach. Hold for about 20 seconds, breathing normally. Repeat about once every waking hour. You should start seeing results in four to six weeks. FIVE WAYS TO BEAT WORRY: (1) Separate worries into those you can do something about and those you can't. Deal with the first group, and forget the rest. (2) Distract yourself with a walk, a book or a movie. (3) Behave as though you aren't worried. (Sometimes you can even fool yourself by blocking out worries) (4) Have long talks about your worries and anxieties with a friend (5) Use a relaxation technique such as meditation or yoga. INSTANT LEG-CRAMP RELIEF: Leg cramps can usually be alleviated by firmly pinching your upper lip for 20 to 30 seconds. LOWER YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE AND CHOLESTEROL WITHOUT DRUGS: Simply cut down on fatty foods and eat more foods with potassium bananas, tangerines, and oranges. For quick results, try a diet of rice, fruit and vegetables. And if you don't already know your cholesterol level, ask your doctor about being tested. Motivating Quotes:
Today is the perfect day to start living your dreams.–Unknown Until a person can say deeply and honestly, “I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterday,” that person cannot say, “I choose otherwise.” What holds most people back isn’t the quality of their ideas, but their lack of faith in themselves. What we call our destiny is truly our character and that character can be altered. What you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while - Gretchen Rubin
Natural Health & Beauty Recipes
When the sun sets over the hill and the new moon dips her silver softness, savour the tranquility in our evening repose blend. It's a perfect toast to the rising moon. A robust flavour of flowers and mint. Place all herbs in a tea ball or bag, put in your nicest or most favorite cup or mug, and cover with boiling water. Steep for 10 minutes. Remove tea ball or bag, and add sugar, honey, sweetener, milk, cream or whatever, to taste. Fever Reducer Tea 2 tsp dried Catnip Pour 2 cups boiling water over herbs. Steep 10 minutes & strain. Flashes Blend Tea
Natural Beauty recipe Anti-sorrow Bath Choose 3 or 4 oils from these essential oils: Bergamot, Frankincense, Geranium, Lavender, Palmarosa, Rose,
and Rosewood. Mix and store in tightly covered bottle. Can be refrigerated for longer shelf life. Euphoric Bath Oil Choose 3 or 4 oils from these essential oils: Champaca absolute, Clary Sage, Grapefruit, Jasmine absolute,
Linden absolute, Myrrh, patchouli, Rose, and Ylang Ylang.
Mix and store in tightly covered bottle. Can be refrigerated for longer shelf life. Gentle Clarifying Bath Eating Foods That Burn Fat
Body envy. It happens every single time when those infomercials featuring perfectly proportioned models pop onto the television screen promising an enviable body weight if you’ll just fork over enough cash to make you skinny forever. Even though you know there’s no magic pill that guarantees overnight success, sometimes it’s tempting to dole out the money. It’s enticing because losing weight is a struggle, and a vicious uphill battle that’s not always so easily fought. The appeal to find a quick fix hits you every now and then – especially when you’ve worked hard to lose a little bit of weight and then you fall off the diet wagon and gain it all back (and then some). You may have lost count of the times you’ve thought, “There has to be an easier way to lose weight!” Have you purchased every weight loss book ever published, forced down the diet bars, consumed the shakes, and attended the weight loss meetings so many times
you could have paid for the entire building by the time you quit? Have you done all of this and yet you still haven’t seen the long-term results that you crave more than food itself? Are you sick and tired of trying, but you still know you need to lose weight so that you can have a healthier life? Or maybe you only need to lose a few pounds to fit into that new outfit or look good for an upcoming class reunion. You know you want to lose weight, but you don’t want a gimmick and you certainly don’t want to keep going down a road that leads nowhere. You just want to find a plan that really works for you without all of the empty promises. There’s something you might not know about the battle of the bulge - something that can help you gain the victory once and for all without having to resort to any costly plans or fancy gimmicks. Best of all, the way you can lose weight can be found in your own refrigerator, in your pantry
or at your grocery store. By the way, this little known method of losing weight won’t break your wallet. I guarantee it. Understanding the Basics of Weight Loss To understand how weight loss works, you have to first understand how calories work. A calorie is energy given in the foods you eat. Your body uses this energy as fuel. Think of it as wood for a fireplace. If you put in too much wood, the fire gets too hot and there’s too much heat produced. In the same manner, too much consumption of calories, especially those foods with empty calories, equals an overabundance of fuel. The same way you would store wood in stacked piles for your fireplace, the body stacks an overabundance of calories as fat. It then takes that fat and adds it to the places you don’t want it put. Then you see results like a tummy that laps over the top of your jeans - often called a muffin top - or you discover the results
are flabby thighs or a double chin. To make the battle of weight loss even more discouraging, that fat, and its cellulite, can give you a lumpy, bumpy look. Cellulite are pockets of that stored fat beneath the surface of your skin. In other words, it’s the chocolate cake or donuts or the second helping of carbohydrates if those calories aren’t burned. Now, all of that’s the bad news. But the good news is, you don’t have to accept being overweight as your fate (no matter how many times you’ve fallen off the diet wagon in the past). Because this weight loss technique is easy and inexpensive, so you can stick with it forever. Not only can you stay on the plan, but you’ll find you actually enjoy it! Your Body’s Silent Workout When you watch a movie, what you see is the finished product. All of the actors and actresses stand where they’re supposed to. They say their lines like a pro
and they look good doing it. What you don’t see happening is the chapped hands and runny noses from filming outside in below zero weather or the nights filming lasted until two in the morning. You didn’t see what went on behind the show. Many people sit down to eat a meal or a snack and never give a second’s thought to what goes on behind the scenes once the food is finished. Everyone knows how you gain weight and most of us are pros at the gaining. We gain by eating too much of the wrong kinds of food. But what if I told you something about your own body that could help you lose weight? With every bite of food that you eat, your body must work to digest it. Because your body is expending energy to digest the food, it’s actually performing a silent workout. Sounds great, right? Your body is working out without you having to lift a finger. Picture this: your body is burning energy to
digest the food while you watch television, while you talk on the phone, drive to work and even while you sleep. It sounds like a fantastic win-win situation doesn’t it? If it’s so fantastic, then why are some people still overweight? Because you’re not eating the right kinds of foods. You’re still stuck measuring portions and counting carbs and assigning foods as good or bad. The truth is, there is no such thing. Food is simply fuel. All of it is. But how (and at what rate) the fuel is burned depends on the foods you eat because it correlates to how it makes your body work. Still follow me? Negative Calorie Foods - Your Body’s Secret Weapon What if you discovered you could lose weight simply with the foods you choose to eat? Foods that help you work off calories simply by eating them. It sounds too good to be true, doesn’t it? But it’s not. There are foods that make your
digestive system use more energy to consume them than the calories contained in the foods themselves. When you use more energy to digest a food than the caloric value of a food, then those foods are called negative calorie foods. By eating these negative calorie foods, you will burn calories and you will lose weight effortlessly. This is a rough example of how it works: Let’s say you have a slice of chocolate cheesecake from the store bakery and you consume roughly 350 calories (or more depending on the type of ingredients used). Once you’ve eaten that slice of cheesecake, your body goes to work breaking it down and beginning the digestion process. Let’s say your body burns 150 calories digesting that cake (and that’s probably figuring the amount burned on the high end). You’re still left with a gain of 200 calories. These calories will turn into unwanted fat and weight gain if not used
as energy by the body. Now remember, the amount of calories you burn by eating negative calorie food will depend on the type of food it is. Instead of the chocolate cheesecake, let’s say for example that you chose an apple instead. A medium sized apple has approximately 80 calories. You eat the apple and then the digestion process begins. Because an apple is a negative calorie food, your body works harder to digest it than you gain in calories by eating it. The difference in negative calorie foods is comparable to the difference between walking and running. When you go for a low key walk, you don’t expend the same amount of energy you would if you were running. Let’s Do the Math Math was never my favorite subject in school, but this kind of math is the kind I love. So let’s go back to the foods. If you eat that apple, you’ve ingested around 80 calories. Your body begins the digestion workout and
without you having to do anything, burns calories. Let’s say as an example, that your body burns around 100 to 110 calories. We’ll split that and say the body burned 105 calories. To eat that 80 calorie apple, you would have burned an extra 25 calories. If you had the slice of chocolate cheesecake, but felt the urge to eat the apple afterward, you would then be 25 calories to the good on the cheesecake. Follow me? Boiled down, it means that 350 calorie cheesecake minus the 25 extra calories you burned by eating the apple leaves you with 175 calories charged against your caloric intake for the cheesecake rather than the entire calorie count for the cheesecake. However, unlike math, there is no simple formula that can subtract months or years of eating the wrong way. But with a little addition of the right kind of foods - negative calorie ones, you can erase those pounds and keep them off. There are a few
things to keep in mind with any type of diet. The more involved a diet is, the less success most people achieve in the long run. Studies have shown that the more elaborate a weight loss plan is, the less likely the person is to stick with it to the end because we like things basic and to the point. None of us has the time to waste filling out complex charts and recording every single morsel we put into our mouths. That’s why negative calorie foods are an ideal weight loss plan for people who want to lose weight, want to get healthy and want a simple method but need a little something extra working in their favor. Your own digestive system can give you that boost you need to keep going until you’ve reached your goal weight. By using your body’s own digestive system, you can actually change the equation. Stealing From the Store If you’re a junk food junkie, you probably have more
than your share of fat stored - fat you would love to see disappear. Remember the apple math? If you have fat stored from junk food and you start eating negative calorie foods, what’s going to happen is those negative calorie foods are going to begin stealing from you. These foods are going to take the fat your body put in store and they’re going to begin using it. Why? Because it took more energy to consume that negative food than the negative food had to give. That energy deficit had to be made up somehow and your body knows just where to get it. When you eat negative calorie foods, your body works hard enough to pull the nutrients and energy from the foods to the point that the food calories don’t count. If there’s not enough energy in the foods your body digests to perform the job, like a car putting in more gas, your body will pull up to the pump - in this case the fat stores - and get whatever it needs to finish the
task. I know what you’re thinking! “This is one thief I wouldn’t mind having around!” But Are These Negative Calorie Foods Good For You? Are you thinking there must be a catch? That negative calorie foods are some type of exotic food with names you can’t pronounce? With all the benefits we’ve talked about that come from eating negative calorie foods, they can’t possibly be good for you, right? Wrong! In fact, negative calorie foods are exactly the kinds of foods doctors not only recommend that you eat, but also encourage patients to do so for weight loss and disease prevention. What are these mystery foods? They’re certain fruits and vegetables. Since experts agree that more fruits and vegetables are a good thing for everyone, negative calorie foods are a great weight loss plan. This isn’t a complete list, but for an easy
reference, I’ll mention some of those foods for you. In the vegetable department, negative calorie foods are: turnips, cucumbers, lettuce, asparagus, broccoli, radishes, cabbage, celery, spinach, carrots, leeks and cauliflower. Fruits that fall under the heading of negative calorie foods are: watermelon, apricot, tomato, apple, blackberry, tangerine, cranberry, cantaloupe, peaches, lime, grapefruit, lemon, papaya, honeydew melon, strawberries, pineapple, plums, mandarin orange, raspberry, rhubarb and honeydew melon. There’s nothing odd about that list of vegetables or fruits. They’re just ordinary foods with the power to create negative calories upon consumption. Now don’t get confused thinking that the phrase ‘negative calorie foods’ means that the foods don’t have any calories, because that isn’t the case at all. The food you eat does contain calories – your body just has to work so hard to digest
them that you wind up with a caloric deficit once it’s all said and done. Is it safe to eat negative calorie foods? Yes, it’s safe. You can’t overdose on negative calorie foods. Unlike heavily advertised pills and gimmicks, there are no ill effects to eating negative calorie foods because they’re healthy for your body – working to keep it naturally lean and strong enough to produce the energy you need throughout the day.
We hope you found this information helpful to you and that you will put the content to good use for improving your health and well being. New order website for Australian customers:
For all of the subscribers that don't want to talk to anyone, who just want to buy their products direct online, I now have a site that processes orders for you once you register with them. Australian customers: Click this link to GoHerbalifeSite or tap on the banner above to check it out and get registered to place your orders... and remember your 15% discount code: HLIntro15 International customers please just continue to Contact Us to place orders in other countries outside Australia. I also have a brief outline in this section about our Herbalife Weight Loss
Plan (Open page with password: WT ) 
Featured Store Product:Fad Diets and the Diet Gap.THE DANGEROUS GAP IN DIET FADS. ARE FAD DIETS PUTTING PEOPLES HEALTH AT RISK? SEE HOW HERBALIFE COMPARES. Have you noticed that fad diets rise and fall in popularity like the latest fashions or current pop songs? We’ve seen (and seen off) the Soup Diet; the Grapefruit Diet; the No Carbs Diet; the Only Carbs Diet, and so on. No sooner than one falls from favour than another becomes ‘flavour of the month’. As a result of experimenting with the latest “food exclusion” diets, many people are actually cutting out entire food groups, leading to nutritional deficiencies, which could be damaging their health! While it may seem that cutting out carbs is great for fast weight loss, there is a very real risk that it will trigger carbohydrate cravings. Have you ever experienced carbohydrate deprivation? First you become edgy, then start to crave carbs, especially the wrong
sort of starchy carbs that are stored as fat. Many people simply give in and become compulsive, but those who hold out can suffer severe side effects. Vitamin B group deficiency is one outcome, leading to fatigue and anxiety. BRAIN FOOD Did you know that the body’s main fuel source for energy comes from carbohydrates? Or that carbs are the brain food used to fuel its function. Is it any wonder you crave high carb, high sugar snacks when studying hard, problem solving or using a computer? Health professionals advise that eliminating carbs from your diet is counter-productive. A much better strategy is giving your body the right type of carbs it requires. Herbalife’s meal replacement Formula 1 Shakes, together with Herbalife’s other Formula dietary supplements are scientifically designed to provide balanced nutrition in the right combination of protein, fibre, carbohydrates, herbs, minerals and vitamins. MEAT-FREE Many people cut out meat when dieting, thinking that this is the way to eliminate excess fat from their bodies. By doing so they could be missing out on important vitamins and minerals such as iron, vitamin B12 and zinc. Iron deficiency leads to serious conditions such as anaemia. Protein is an essential building block for the body and is needed for the growth of new cells and tissues. If you don’t eat meat it is vital to get adequate protein from other Herbalife’s (soy) Protein Powder, together with Formula 1 helps build and maintain lean muscle mass and enhances your stamina and wellbeing while dieting. The addition of Vitamin C enhances the absorption of iron. You can have your necessary proteins now, even if you are a vegetarian. FAT-FREE? Since the “fat-free craze” began, statistics show we have grown fatter and fatter. Just because a food is fat
free doesn’t mean its calorie free. Today, supermarket shelves are packed with foods that call to dieters with the words “FAT-FREE”. But as conscientious weight watchers load up their shopping carts with fat free foods week after week, many discover this alarming fact: their weight is going up! GETTING FAT ON FAT-FREE Although we’ve been taught to think of fat as the culprit in the weight loss battle, clearly this is only part of the whole diet picture. Many fat free foods are actually very high in sugar and carbohydrate calories. And these calories, when eaten in excess, become converted into the one thing we’ve been taught to avoid- fat! LOSE THE FAT FROM YOUR BODY, NOT YOUR DIET Ironically, in order to burn fat and lose weight you need a certain amount of good quality fat. That’s why Herbalife’s balanced dietary formulas include enough “good fats”, such as those found in
fish and olive oil, together with Herbalife’s highly nutritious meal replacement shakes and snacks. Bad fats include trans fatty acids or hydrogenated fat. Good fats are mono saturated and polyunsaturated fats containing omega-3 and omega-3 fatty acids, which help to lower cholesterol, improve eyesight and boost brain power. Herbalifeline is an excellent way to obtain your daily intake of the Omega-3 fatty acids, which are often lacking in both “normal” and fad diets. Omega-3 fatty acids promote good health; helps maintain healthy triglyceride levels that are already within normal range; and provide temporary relief of joint discomfort. By avoiding the fat free craze and giving your body the complete nourishment it needs with Herbalife’s supplements and weight management products, you’ll lose weight steadily and feel healthier as you do. FAST WEIGHT LOSS DIET FADS. Quick
weight loss diets usually overemphasize one particular food or food type. They violate the first principle of good nutrition, which is to eat a balanced diet that includes a variety of foods. There are no “super-foods.” No one type of food has all the nutrients you need for good health. Fad diets also violate a second important principle of good nutrition- eating should be enjoyable. Fad diets are so monotonous and boring that its almost impossible to stay on them for long periods. Visit here to get STARTED on Shop for Herbalifeline - 90 Capsules If you are ordering add our 15% discount code: HLIntro15 to receive discount on your order
What is EMDR - Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing - Psychotherapy Treatment?Its purpose is one that’s intended to relieve stress and other negative feelings that can be caused by traumatic memories.This can be living through a traumatic event yourself or witnessing it happen to someone else. There are three different parts to the EMDR therapy that can be a help to people. The first part is dealing with the events and memories that are responsible for the emotional problems you’ve been experiencing. In this first part of dealing with the events, you’ll learn how to create new links that you can associate with the events and memories. EMDR therapy works in that it can have you feeling safe and in control in your environment rather than afraid and feeling like the world is not a safe place for you to be in. The second part that can help people who use EMDR techniques is targeting the present situations that might provoke your distress. During the sessions, while you’re going through the phases, you’ll be doing work designed to desensitize any external and internal triggers you may have. Many people have certain triggers that will cause them to feel as powerless and scared as they were at the time the actual event took place. The person can feel like he or she is actual back in the event or seeing it again. EMDR can help you overcome the emotions and issues that are connected with that. The third part involves using imagery.
What Problems Can Be Helped by EMDR? There are several problems and symptoms that can be handled by using the teachings of EMDR. Extremely traumatic events such as sexual and physical abuse can be successfully treated. Rape victims can find relief from the traumatic memories through the techniques offered. Child traumas can also be treated by using
EMDR. Experiencing the death of a loved one can be difficult. Losing someone that you care about can be a traumatic event that can cause people to become stuck. EMDR can also help you overcome the trauma of losing someone that you love. There are other traumatic events that can require the need for a treatment like EMDR. If you witness a terrible trauma or the abuse of someone else, it can affect you emotionally. So can going through a natural disaster or even watching it unfold on television. Going through a short term event can have long term emotional consequences. An example of this would be having a house fire or being in a car accident. When you go through something like that, these events can bring on feelings of loss of control and fear. In some
cases, if you experience a trauma that leads to the death of someone else, you can develop survivor’s guilt. These feelings can be worked through during EMDR. Continue Reading The New Online Guide About EMDR - Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing - Psychotherapy Treatment Here >>
A-Z Health Guide
Tips To Improve Mobility With Arthritis
While there are conventional medical treatments that are available for people with arthritis, many wonder what can be done along with medication to help improve mobility with their arthritis. In fact, there are many natural methods to help manage pain and improve mobility. This article will show you five different alternative therapies and treatments that can help you manage your daily arthritis symptoms and mobility issues. Hydrotherapy Web M.D. recommends hydrotherapy as a form of exercise for those with arthritis. Hydrotherapy is similar to exercise and a pool, however, the pool tends to be warmer than a traditional swimming pool. With hydrotherapy, participants can get all of the benefits of regular exercise without any of the impact on
joints. This may be especially beneficial to those with arthritis because the joints are particularly affected. Having an option for exercise that has zero impact on the joints can increase mobility as well as range of motion. Many times hydrotherapy is considered a form of physical therapy and may be covered by insurance. Range of Motion Exercise Many sufferers of arthritis keep the affected joints in a tightened position to alleviate pain. Unfortunately, this has the unintended side effect of increasing pain because it shortens ligaments and muscles around the affected joint. This means that instead of decreasing pain over the long-term keeping the joints in a tightened position will increase pain.
The Cleveland Clinic recommends all arthritis sufferers participate in range of motion exercises. The range of motion exercises typically includes stretching and extending the joints
to their full ability. Some range of motion programs may include yoga or tai chi. Lose Weight Because arthritis causes pain and immobility many sufferers of arthritis have excess weight. The excess weight increases pressure and damage on the joints. Mayo Clinic recommends that if you have arthritis, you maintain a healthy body weight. If you’re currently overweight and have a difficult time moving a healthy body weight can be maintained through proper diet. A meeting with a dietitian can help you start a healthy diet if you are not sure where to begin. The dietitian or nutritionist may also have ideas on foods that can help decrease inflammation in the body and reduce pain from your arthritis. Hot and
Cold Therapy One of the benefits of hot and cold therapy is that it can be done at home. The second benefit to hot and cold therapy is that it is very inexpensive. Heating pads and ice packs are easy to have on hand and don’t cost a lot of money. Healthline suggests that arthritis sufferers try alternating hot and cold therapy to affected joints to decrease pain. You may find that some days cold therapy works the best on your arthritic joints while other days a heating pad may be better. Having both on hand to use is going to be the best way to ensure that this therapy is effective at increasing your mobility and decreasing your pain. Massage The arthritis foundation notes that one of the most beneficial treatments for mobility in arthritis patients is massage. Massage can help increase range of motion simply by relieving tension on stiff muscles and ligaments that surround the
arthritic joints. The arthritis foundation says that the best types of massage for people with arthritis are either deep tissue massage or Swedish massage. If you are having a high amount of pain deep tissue massage may be difficult to tolerate because of how deep into the muscle massage therapist will go. Either way, massage therapy is an easily accessible treatment to help increase your range of motion when you have arthritis. While arthritis will not go away no matter how well you take care of your body, you can manage your symptoms and stop the progression of the disease. If you combine medication with these holistic approaches to treatment, you are sure to have a happier and pain-free life.
Being asked for a Password to view a site page? Not a problem! Some of the site product pages are available only to Subscribers like you to view, that we have ongoing contact with, so they are password protected. Just enter WT (in capitals) to open the page.
Have a Laff!
Remember, the best medicine is always LAUGHTER, so enjoy!All Puns Intended! 1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent. 2. A set of jump leads walk into a bar. The bartender says, ‘I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.’ 3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted. 4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra. 5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: ‘A beer please, and one for the road.’ 6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: ‘Does this taste funny to you ?’ 7. ‘Doc, I can’t stop singing ‘The Green, Green Grass of Home.’ ‘That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.’ ‘Is it common ?’ ‘Well, It’s Not Unusual.’ 8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, ‘I was artificially inseminated this morning.’ ‘I don’t believe you,’ says Dolly. ‘It’s true; no bull!’ exclaims Daisy. 9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either. 10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before. 11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn’t find any. 12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, ‘Doctor, doctor, I can’t feel my legs !’ The doctor replied, ‘I know you can’t – I’ve cut off your arms !’ 13. I went to a seafood disco last week…and pulled a mussel. 14. What do you call a fish with no eyes ? A fsh. 15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, ‘Dam !’ 16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were a bit cold, so they lit a fire in the craft. It sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too. 17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office, and asked them to disperse. ‘But why,’ they asked, as they moved off. ‘Because,’ he said, ‘I can’t stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.’
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Thank you for joining us this week, I hope that you have found some extra motivation and inspiration to achieve lifetime optimal health! To update yourself on our new resources and lifetime optimal health strategies just go to
Your Health Online at The Health Success Site Your Editor,
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