Just sad

Until two years ago I thought I pretty much
had my life together. I was extremely busy, had lots
of energy, I didn't feel anyways near my age of 68, and I thought I was a strong person.

Then my husband of 46 years passed away, and my life, and my world came to an end. The first seven months I prayed for God to take me too, but he said no, the rest of those two years until now has been an uphill battle of not crying, and trying to find where my purpose in life is suppose to be.

I look in the mirror, and I don't even recognize myself. I soon will be 70, my skin is shallow, I have bags under my eyes, my skin hangs, I used to be a decent looking woman, now I'm not.

I suppose it sounds like I'm feeling sorry for myself, and I am. If I have made any mistakes along the way of my life, it was making my husband my whole life, so now I don't have a life.Even if it was wrong, I wouldn't have change anything, he was a wonderful man.

My health is not that good, can't walk because of osteo arthritis, heart problems. Sometimes I just want to run away, but that's no answer, wherever I run my problems would come with me.

Whenever I feel a bit of joy, I cry because my husband is not here to enjoy it with me.

Can anyone offer some kind of advice, that would shake me out of this place I am at in my life.

God Bless
Ruth